I won’t bore you with all the details about gaining weight.  We’ve all been there.  I’ve wrote a few blog posts about my weight loss journey.  After a recent trip to my doctor, I thought I would post a picture when I think I was at my heaviest.  (And, after scouring through a gazillion digital pictures tonight looking for one, I realized I am always the one behind the camera.  There are literally 12 pictures of me in the past 7 years.

St. Louis Zoo - 2006

So, here I am.  156 pounds on my 5’4″ frame.  Yikes.

You can read about my running journey here:  http://wp.me/p1dPjH-6I

And, this brings me to this past Friday.  I had my annual check up with my doctor.  I haven’t seen him in a year.  I rarely get sick.  Or, at least sick enough that I will actually go to the doctor.  So, it had been a while.  I checked in, updated my information, waited in the waiting room.  You know the routine.

The nurse came out to get me, she oohed and aaaahhed appropriately over Jordan who was with me.  Took her back so the office staff could see how cute she was.  And, then it was time to step on the scale.  The scale used to terrify me.  Not anymore.  No surprises, it was 130.  Exactly what mine said this morning.  Onto the exam room.

And, that’s when it got weird.

He shook my hand, shook Jordan’s hand.  Talked to me about the financial crisis happening right now.   Drew a graph.  I actually don’t remember him being this chatty, it was a little strange, but I thought he was taking the time to get to know his patient.  So, whatever.

He pulled out a tape measure and measured my wrist.  (Let me just add, he has never done this before.)

He wrote that measurement down next time my weight.

He looked at my height.  Pulled out a calculator from his desk drawer.

He made some quick calculations.  Pulled out a chart from his desk and said:

“For your height, you should weigh about 120.  So you’re only a little chubby.”

At first, I laughed.  I think out of shock.  He didn’t really just say that, did he?  I’ll be totally honest, it didn’t even really bother me.  He’s an older guy, probably doesn’t care about being PC and according to that chart, I am “a little chubby.”

That was Friday.  Today is Sunday.  And, while I’m not hurt or even mad, I don’t understand how in this day and age we’re still defining our bodies by charts.  He didn’t ask me what I do when I work out (run, weights, other cardio) and I think from 4th grade I learned that muscle weighs more than fat.  Right?

Screw charts.  And for the record, my wrist is the smallest part of my body.  I mean, if he was going to measure the circumference of something, thank god he didn’t pick my thighs.

Have you ever had your wrist measured?  Would you have been offended at the “little chubby” comment?


I wouldn’t know.  I’m not retired.

Once some of my family members heard that I was leaving my full time job, I was immediately asked the following questions:

What’s it like being retired?
What’s it like being a parent?
What do you do with all your free time?

Um, I’m not retired.  I’ve always been a parent.  I’m not really sure what you mean by “free time”.  I don’t want to take the time to explain to people that while yes, I’m not going to an office every day,  that I do still work.  I tried explaining it once, but I got an eye roll and a “yeah, sure”.

Not going to an office, not having to clock-in is very strange to me.  It’s all I know.  My new world is a little different.  Now, I’ve got Jordan with me all day and Joey is going to daycare for 1/2 days.  If I have meetings I schedule them in the morning and then the afternoons are reserved for fun family time.

I feel very lucky to have this opportunity.  I’m doing work that excites me.  Work I can be passionate about.  Work that is allowing me to learn new things.  However, the balance between time with my kids and my own need to make a difference in the world, contribute to our family’s income and keep my own skills sharpened is challenging.  I’m not afraid to say that I love to work, I love being busy, I love learning new things.   I’m also not afraid to say I don’t want to spend every day all day with my children.  I have said before that I think I’m a better parent because I do work.

I treasure those moments that I do find my kids doing something cute.  But, not working?  No way.  there is to much work that needs to be done.

Hi everyone!  It’s been a while since my last post.  I think the #Trust30 challenge was just that…a challenge.  I pooped out when that was over.

I’m still here and have been surprisingly busy with my life since leaving full time employment.  My kids are visiting their grandparents this week in Kansas.  We did the trade off on Saturday, and on Sunday I thought I would be driving back to Kansas City to pick up two homesick kids, but they have settled in and all is well.  I miss them a ton when they’re gone, but the time away gives my husband and I time to reconnect and have conversations without being interrupted 82 times during dinner.  Always a plus.

While driving to Kansas City, I began reading Walk Out Walk On by Margaret Wheatley and Deborah Frieze.  It’s an amazingly inspirational book about not accepting the norm and creating your own.  It’s about solving problems.  It’s about being engaged with your community.  It’s about working with what you have and not what you’re missing.  I’ve underlined so many parts of this book and folded over so many corners of pages, it’s hard to just pick out one to share with you.  I decided to give you a little taste of their take on the importance of play in our work.  Seems to me that more often than not, we’re all taking ourselves a bit to seriously.

Walk Out Walk On talks about the need for play not only in our work, but at solving problems.  They argue that the “command and control leadership smothers basic human capacities such as intelligence, creativity, caring, dreaming.  Yet it is the most common form of leadership worldwide.”  It seems like so many times that when a problem comes up, we all start out with the best of intentions in solving it, but that quickly turns into getting so bogged down in the process that we quickly lose site of what we’re trying to solve in the first place.  Or, the “problem-solvers” are so far removed from the situation and the community that they’re not even sure what the core problems are.  This reiterates the point that we need strong individuals who aren’t afraid to walk out and walk on in solving problems.  There isn’t any reason that we just need to accept the status quo.

Especially when the status quo is crap.

I’ll leave you with this quote about the importance of play.

How did we forget who we are?
Play is not a foolish waste of time.
Play is not a mindless diversion from work.
Play is how we rediscover ourselves.
Play is how we ignite the human spirit in which our true power lies.

How will YOU incorporate play into your work today?

Day 30 of #Trust30 – 10 Year Text by Tia Singh

Speak what you think now in hard words, and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said today. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Imagine your future self, ie, you 10 years from now. If he/she were to send you a tweet or text message, 1) what would it say and 2) how would that transform your life or change something you’re doing, thinking, believing or saying today?

(Author: Tia Singh)

Ten years from now, I’ll be 43.  My kiddos will be 17 and 12.   (OMG.)

My tweet would say – @jamidix be who you are, accept who you are, embrace who you are.  do the same for those around you.

We all have issues.  I think the difference in people is some are better at hiding their issues than others.  I have a hard time letting people into my inner circle.  Letting them know who I really am or telling people how I really feel.  I can literally see a wall around myself for certain people.  I’m scared of letting them get to close.  I’m afraid of getting hurt.  I’m afraid to be who I am at all times for fear that I might be rejected by the ones I love.  I’m stubborn.  I expect people to change if I don’t like the way they behave or what they believe.  I don’t like people telling me what to do or how to be.

So, I bring a lot to the table.  But, I also care deeply.  I love my family more than anything.  I would do anything if you asked.  It’s nice to be needed.  So, ten years from now, I want to be able to truly accept and embrace who I am and those around me.  I think if I could do that now it would lead to deeper, more meaningful relationships.  It would mean more happiness.


Day 29 of #Trust30 – Overcoming Uncertainty by Sean Ogle

Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Write down a major life goal you have yet to achieve or even begin to take action on. For each goal, write down three uncertainties (read: fears) you have relating to each goal. Break it down further, and write down three reasons for each uncertainty. When you have three reasons for your fear, you’ll be able to start processing the change because you know where the fear stems from. Now you’ll be able to make a smaller changes that push you towards your larger goal. So begins the process of “trusting yourself.”

(Author: Sean Ogle)


President? Nope.   Run for some sort of Office?  Nope.  Be a movie star?  Nope.

Move to an island and work at a beach bar?  Totally.  (I’m not kidding.)

In all seriousness though, I never had super-high aspirations for my career.  Call me an underachiever, but all I’ve ever wanted out of life is to raise good kids, have a good marriage, do good work, vacation to new places, learn to relax and enjoy life.

For some people, my list probably looks pretty average.  Boring.  Some people wouldn’t even consider those goals.  But, I look at that list and think they’re all pretty major.  Kids.  Marriage.  Work.  Vacation.  Relax.

Funny how vacation and relax were listed last.

The word MAJOR scares me.  Frankly, so does GOAL.  Setting a goal takes commitment.  Dedication.  For me, setting a goal means saying it out loud.  Once you say it out loud you’re committing.  Maybe its the commitment piece I’m scared of.  What if I can’t do it?  Self-Doubt.

God, it always seems to go back to that one place…self-doubt.  I hate that place.

If I set a goal, but don’t actually commit, it means I won’t have to be as disappointed in myself.  It means I don’t need to feel that ashamed or embarrassed.

But, oh the feeling of reaching a goal.  Pride.  Happiness.  Accomplishment.

I know I’m raising good kids.  We were recently at Q’doba having a quick lunch before running errands and Jordan needed sour cream.  She went up to the cashier by herself, waited for him to see her and asked if she could please have some sour cream and then finished it off with a thank you.  There was a woman standing nearby who got her meal, sat down and then came over to tell me how incredibly polite she was.  Those are the moments I live for now.

Marriage is always a work in progress.  For me, it’s one of those things where you think everything is fine and then BOOM it’s so, not fine.  But, somehow we’ve managed to keep working at it and I live for those moments where you really connect and see eye to eye on something.  It feels good.  It feels like you’re doing something right.

While I’m not fully employed at an organization forty hours a week, I haven’t been so excited and passionate about the work I am doing in a long time.  I am incredibly fortunate to be in the position I am right now.  Mornings are reserved for work.  Afternoons are reserved for kids.  It’s a great balance.

Vacation and relaxation.  Those will come with time….and money:)

I don’t have the magic answer when it comes to goals and how to achieve them.  All I know is what I believe…if you want anything bad enough, don’t sit back and wait for it to be handed to you.  Get up and work really, really hard to achieve whatever it is you’re dreaming of and don’t be afraid to ask for a little help along the way.

Now, about that bar job…

Day 28 of #Trust30 – Alive-est by Sam Davidson

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. If we follow the truth, it will bring us out safe at last. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

When did you feel most alive recently? Where were you? What did you smell? What sights and sounds did you experience? Capture that moment on paper and recall that feeling. Then, when it’s time to create something, read your own words to reclaim a sense of being to motivate you to complete a task at hand.

(Author: Sam Davidson)


I’ve never felt so alive than when I was on vacation in Hawaii.

On a clear, sunny, warm day I can close my eyes and be there.

I can almost taste the pineapple ice cream we had at the Dole Plantation.

No worries about time.  Spending quality time together as a family.  Exploring the island in a jeep on our own schedule.  It was awesome.

On a clear, sunny, warm day I can close my eyes and be there.

Day 27 of #Trust30 – Personal Recipe by Harley Schreiber

I do not wish to expiate, but to live. My life is for itself and not for a spectacle. I much prefer that it should be of a lower strain, so it be genuine and equal, than that it should be glittering and unsteady. I wish it to be sound and sweet, and not to need diet and bleeding. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Think about the type of person you’d NEVER want to be 5 years from now. Write out your own personal recipe to prevent this from happening and commit to following it. “Thought is the seed of action.”

(Author: Harley Schreiber)

I never want to be someone that is constantly judging someone else.  I will always try to put myself in their shoes and remind myself that I don’t know what their story is.

I never want to be “Debbie Downer”.  I will try and remember the little things in life that make me happy.

I never want to be in a place that I can’t forgive someone.  I will remember what it feels like when I wasn’t forgiven.

I don’t want to be someone who can’t ask for help.  I will always help those around me.

I don’t ever want look at someone and think the worst.  I will surround myself with people who are not like me.

I don’t ever want to not be able to laugh at myself.  I will not take myself to seriously.

Day 26 of #Trust30 – Call to Arms by Sasha Dichter

The secret of fortune is joy in our hands. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

What if today, right now, no jokes at all, you were actually in charge, the boss, the Head Honcho. Write the “call to arms” note you’re sending to everyone (staff, customers, suppliers, Board) charting the path ahead for the next 12 months and the next 5 years. Now take this manifesto, print it out somewhere you can see, preferably in big letters you can read from your chair.

You’re just written your own job description. You know what you have to do. Go!

(bonus: send it to the CEO with the title “The things we absolutely have to get right – nothing else matters.”)

(Author: Sasha Dichter)

The Things We Absolutely Have to Get Right – Nothing Else Matters

  • Believe in each other.
  • Trust that we’re all doing the best job we can.
  • Get to know each other outside of the office.  Most of you have families.  Ask about the kids.  We all love to talk about our kids.
  • Be honest with each other, even when its hard.
  • Have a purpose in all that you do.
  • We have to listen, really listen.  Look each other in the eye.
  • Having different strengths makes us stronger – appreciate your own and value your neighbors.
  • Trust your instincts.
  • It’s okay to work with your heart.  I think your work will be better for it.
  • Laugh at least once a day.

Please sign here:   _______________________________________________.



Day 25 of #Trust30 – Most Ordinary by Patti Digh

Good and bad are but names very readily transferable to that or this; the only right is what is after my constitution, the only wrong what is against it. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

We are our most potent at our most ordinary. And yet most of us discount our “ordinary” because it is, well, ordinary. Or so we believe. But my ordinary is not yours. Three things block us from putting down our clever and picking up our ordinary: false comparisons with others (I’m not as good a writer as _____), false expectations of ourselves (I should be on the NYTimes best seller list or not write at all), and false investments in a story (it’s all been written before, I shouldn’t bother). What are your false comparisons? What are your false expectations? What are your false investments in a story? List them. Each keep you from that internal knowing about which Emerson writes. Each keeps you from making your strong offer to the world. Put down your clever, and pick up your ordinary.

(Author: Patti Digh)

I’m not as smart as (fill in the blank of any number of people), so I should just keep my mouth closed.

I’ll sound stupid if I give my opinion, so I won’t.

The world can’t handle another person writing about how cool social media is, so I won’t.

I shouldn’t stick up for myself when I feel I’ve been wronged because I might hurt someone’s feelings.

I’ll never be able to whip up dinner like my mom could.

I’ll never be as good of a runner as my sister.

I’ll never be as clever as some of the people I follow on Twitter.


Day 24 of #Trust30 – Intuition by Susan Piver

The secret of fortune is joy in our hands. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you could picture your intuition as a person, what would he or she look like? If you sat down together for dinner, what is the first thing he or she would tell you?

(Author: Susan Piver)

My intuition is definitely a woman.  An older woman with warm, gentle eyes.

She’s kind, doesn’t judge and has a warm spirit and soul.

The first thing she would tell me is to trust her.  Always.

When things get rough, and we all know it does, it’s important to have a good reliable friend to always be able to count on.




July 2018
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